Oh my god!! Im in rant mode!!! Im so annoyed!!
Today i was up in court! Yes, up in court. I was actually in trouble for the first time in my WHOLE life!!! Crapped my pants! But fear not, i haven't murdered anyone, or robbed any old ladies or suddenly got an arsenistic (is that a word) streak, but alas i commited the most unforgivable sin of them all...i forgot to pay my TV licence....i hear you all gasp in disgust, please refrain from stoning me in the street.
So without any prior warnings, letters, phone calls, knocks on the door, i received a lovely little summons in the post...nice little Christmas present for me! I wouldn't mind if i'd had warnings and ignored them...but no!! I wouldn't mind if i hadn't been collecting TV Licence stamps for ages now preparing myself to hand over €160 to watch a TV that i bought...that i pay an electricity bill for, but just never got around to buying the poxy thing!
So, a bit annoyed that's it's only in my name (when the house is joint owned) and more than a bit pooping my pants at having to face an actual real life judge, i awaited the day of judgement!!!
Then arrives my most feared day. Thanks to working with kids and the disgusting amount of traffic in Dublin City Centre i was late! YES LATE for the almighty judge, most important person in the world!!! And to top it all of, it was a woman! (I always find women who are in a position of power to be complete bitches (God Stacey, could you be anymore judgemental and prejudiced!) talk about power trip, "the suffragettes began our fight to rise to the same status as the men, i shall carry on with this fight but proving my worth. I will use my position to create as much pain and suffering as i can!" - pig).
So i walked in 5 minutes (yes, 5 whole big fat minutes) late and sat amongst everyone else, blending in quite nicely with all the other TV Licence evading scum. The name reading woman called everyone up in turn...guilty? €160 fine...be gone peasant. I sat preying that by some favourable twist of fate i would be towards the bottom half of the list.
No Stacey Sayers called out!!! Yep, you guessed it, i was at the START of the list and missed my slot! So not only was i non-TV Licence paying scum, but i was in contempt of court!!! Contempt of court!!?? I can't even look a policeman in the eye im that scared, how could i be in contempt of court!!!!!!!!
The almighty queen judge looked me straight in the eye (here comes the telling off for being late i thought!) AND WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM! She doth not waste her precious time (on a Friday afternoon no less) on terrible time keeping plebs like me!
Name calling woman told me i had a €500 fine for NOT TURNING UP!!! Huh huh huh!?!?! (she tells me this with a complete lack of irony....im standing in front of you, i did turn up!!) But i could appeal it! Great i thought more work to do....but lets do it! Im rearing to go straight up to the 3rd floor (civic office dont you know) fighting for my rights....when she pipes up 'but there's no point in doing it now, leave it till next week'.... as if i dont have enough to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE PEOPLE!!!!!
It was twenty (minus fifteen) years ago today…
4 months ago